yes! so im back again...hoping that once i finish writing this, I would be able to lift my spirits up. I take refuge in writing a blog or a poem and im glad that it has for most of the times come to my rescue and given me my answers.
There are these reccurring images, dreams, fears that most of us experience. The tragedy is that what if u believe u've gotten past it...and it strikes again....or what if it dawns on u that its a leech that has been sucking onto ur life throughout without u even realizing it! Sometimes somethings are soo gargantuan that we we dont cry for them, get worried or in genral react to them...the word here is NUMB. Yes, we become indifferent to things....knowin that it exists but running away frm it so that it can not hurt u. Its like closing ur eyes n thinking that the world can also not see you. For a while this may work....but just recently i was made to open my eyes...to behold the intransigent truth!
The truth that i knew always lay beside me....but my bak turned to it....I tried my best to ignore it. If only it wud have neva shown up....forcing me to accept it. The verity lying in the fact I could no longer turn my face away from it. Rejection was not an option nemore.....coz i had to grow responsible towards my actions, my thoughts, my deeds. Painfull it is...it hurts like a zillion arrows embedded in your heart...each with a strike so sharp. The tears fall....you try to stop them...u try implementing the optimism you potray as innate in ur being...but for a moment it founders. And that moment is this...this very second when my mind is obscured with one thought....1 possibility...rejecting the million options that are in essesnce quixotic.
Once again i want to believe in the mysticism...the myriad, multifarious thoughts to converge to only one belief...the faith that all will be well...That watever happens ..happns for the best...that from this moment on i have to struggl alone...that from this moment on I have to win alone!
